Monday, 22 October 2012

Once a faily student, always a bit faily (or ex-faily)

Was thinking yesterday* how my final exam fail (and other final exam near-fail) probably contributes to why I dont have as much clinical confidence as I'd like, and explains why I'm not as methodical as I should be. Or rather, my lack of logic and method explains why I failed.

Meeting with educational supervisor:

Supervisor: foundation years are a steep learning curve, especially when you've probably always done really well and never failed anything...
me: actually, I failed a final exam...
ES: really? Why on earth did we give you an academic job then?!?!
me: you gave me the job before I failed
ES: oh well, it's not the end of the world
me: it certainly seemed like it at the time!

I guess it's something that I'll never forget about, but the significance will hopefully fade over time. It should stick with me long enough to prevent me getting much too big for my boots anytime in the next few years- I know I could still be capable of screwing up.

However, some days after this conversation, I had a potentially good idea: I know, and documented extensively on the previous blog (here and here) how horrible it is to fail a final exam and to have confidence shattered and to get totally burnt out and have to find some way of picking yourself up and carrying on (or relying on others to pick me up and carry me on – I am still so, so thankful to the wonderful people who helped me prepare for my re-take).

Maybe I can help other faily students to pick themselves up and carry on, help motivate, help practice, help them realise that help might be there for the asking (if their fellow students are as wonderful as mine were). A little investigative work tells me the number of students currently retaking final year at the place where I’m working (I’ve got an academic foundation job – it should come as no surprise that I’m working at a hospital involved with a medical school) reaches double figures, so perhaps there’s a market for this concept, for want of a better word. I just need to work out who to contact about it, and see if the other openly faily F1 doctor (who has of course, now passed, that’s why they’re an F1) wants in on this.
I don’t have training in motivating people, but I think personal experience that would be relevant here. Watch this space…

* Not yesterday, actually ages ago, but that’s how long it takes me to write a blog these days.

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